My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
