So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
