She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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