I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
