nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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