so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
