i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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