i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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