One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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