he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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