Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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