Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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