Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
