Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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