She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
