you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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