Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
