Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
