he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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