Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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