Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
