yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
