your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
