im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
