if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
