People in love make me want to vomit
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize