Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
