I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
