After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
