I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
