Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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