I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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