why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize