I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Randomize
