either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My life is pants optional.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
