Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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