it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
