his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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