I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
