Define "chronic" masturbator.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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