I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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