I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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