Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
