1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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