yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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