there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
