If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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