dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize