i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
