i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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