I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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