how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
