FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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