he puts the penis in happiness.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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