Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
