I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
