D3 body, D1 cock
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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