I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
