Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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