even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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