he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
