Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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