no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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