she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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