I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize