She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
