Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
